Where Has July Gone?

It's somewhat hard for me to believe that July is almost over. I'm pretty sure last week, it was June and I was just barely finding out I was pregnant. It's amazing how much stress can make time fly. Even with Jayson having a job now, we are still very far behind in our bills. It's somewhat of a vicious cycle...we write checks to pay our bills and our account goes into the negative. Jayson will get paid, bring our account almost up to the positive again and our next set of bills are due. We have been going like this for two months. When Jayson lost his job, we depleted what little we had in savings very quickly. Waking up to face another day of not having enough money and not being able to pay our rent or put gas in the car for the past two months has been the hardest time of my married life. Add in the fact that we are expecting a baby, and it's a complete recipe for anxiety. Surprisingly, I have done okay; just a lot of crying here and there but it hasn't affected my pregnancy any. My blood pressure is still within normal range, I'm eating pretty healthily (thanks to my mom, if it wasn't for her, Jayson and I would be starving) and my weight gain is on schedule. Unfortunately, to make matters worse, I am hardly working at all this month. The doctor I work for took a lot of July off for family vacations and things, which means I'm only getting about 7 days of work every two weeks. This definitely hasn't helped our finances at all. So, I guess, even though I am very surprised July has come and almost gone as quickly as it has, I am excited. I'm working more hours in August and my mom finally has a job, which means Jayson and I are watching my baby brother and sister and getting paid by the state to do it. It won't be a whole lot, just a couple hundred a month, but that is our car payment at least. Jayson also has an interview for a new position at work which means, if he gets it, he will actually be hired on with the company instead of through a staffing agency and it will be a pay increase. So things are finally looking up. If I can just hang out for another week, I think we will be okay. Things most certainly aren't great, by any stretch of the imagination. I wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for Jayson, my mom and other family who have helped us out this far. But things are going to be okay. Somehow, they are. Two things I have learned throughout this difficult time: be more prepared. Have more in savings, cut back on the extras all the time, not just when you can't afford them, stick very closely to a budget. The second thing I have learned: have faith that eventually, no matter what, things will always work out. Thanks to great people all over my life, there is always help when you need it. You just need to get over your pride and ask. I am determined, however, that once we can, whether it be in 6 months or 10 years, we will help out someone just because we can. I can't wait until we are able to do that. Something to look forward to. So, anyway, now that I have had my little whine fest and I feel a little bit better, I'm going to go. The Johnson Family Reunion starts tomorrow and it will be nice to spend time with Jayson's family. This will be the first time a lot of them have seen Jayson since he got home so it'll be really nice. Maybe for two/three days, I can stop worrying long enough to enjoy the last little bit of July. :)